A Dozen Dusky, Nubile Wenches

The options made my head spin. A couple of shots of caffeine didn't help matters much, but it did make me run around like a Labrador pup with a speed habit for a while. Within an hour I settled down and made my first call.
'Hi, got any jobs?', I asked with my best business voice.
'And what exactly is it you do?', came his reply. He had an accent that made the Queen sound like a slut.
'I juggle, my mum thinks I'm funny and I can say the word crazy in seven different languages.'
'Will eighty thousand a year suffice?'
'Make it a hundred and you've got a deal. I've always liked round numbers.'
'Fine. Start on Monday.'
'And my title?'
'Let's just say you'll be placed in a capacity where you will be required to help assimilate Spanish and Portuguese women in their late teens and early twenties into the ways of London life.'
'And my tools?'
'A stick of celery, a large peacock feather, an industrial size vat of hand cream and a touch of masculine courage. You'll be living in, so transport shouldn't pose a problem. You have no issues sharing a room with up to a dozen dusky, nubile wenches do you?'

Then the bastard phone rang, ruining a dream with more potential than a Pete Sampras, Steffi Graf offspring. The caffeine had provided the rush but with every buzz comes a come down. I chose to sleep through mine. I'd definitely find a job tommorrow.

'Hola'
'Doddo, The Kid, found a job yet ya fat prick?'
'Celery.'
'What?'
'Sorry mate. What?'
'You been sleeping again?'
'What makes you say that?'
'What makes you say celery?'
'Good point. Yep, I've been sleeping, what goes down?'
'Up for sippers tonight? Thought I'd hit the Walkabout in Covent Garden with a few of the footy boys.'
'Count me in. What is a Covent Garden?'
'It's a place near the Strand, just up from Trafalgar Square.'
'Ahhh, the red squares. I'll just catch the Monopoly line train. What time ya getting there?'
'Sixish.'
'Do I need to dress up?'
'It's almost mandatory not to.'
'My sort of place then. By the way mate, I've got some really fantastic news for.'

And with that I hung up.