Caerphilly Castle is a big mother of structure set on thirty acres, eight miles north of Cardiff. It is the largest of all the Welsh castles and second in size only to Windsor Castle in Britain. Dating back to the late thirteenth century, it truly is a dramatic piece of work set in the most tranquil and comely of locales. Surrounded by a dirty brown moat, manicured lawns and majestic shady trees, it was the perfect spot for a well earned rest. Until we saw the pub that is.
Over a cool refreshing ale at the Courthouse Hotel, our guide book informed me that Caerphilly Castle was in fact built by the Norman appointed Lord of Glamorgan, Gilbert De Clare or Gilbert the Red as he was known to his friends - due to the fact he was forever spilling ketchup down the front of his armor, the clumsy oaf. Not really, I just made that last bit up. He was known as Gilbert the Red but for entirely different and undiscovered reasons.
Anyway, De Clare built Caerphilly Castle in 1268 in an attempt to repress the vexatious Welsh, only to have it razed to the ground by Llywellyn the Last, the then Prince of Wales. A determined De Clare, not to be put off by the trifling matter of a razed castle, in 1271 set about rebuilding the place, but this time not from straw but from sticks - sound familiar? No not really, I'm a terrible liar. No, he rebuilt it from stone of course, but second time round he flooded a valley to make a massive lake that would eventually act as a moat and built his castle on three artificially created islands. His new fortress featured doubled up walls, four gatehouses, arrow slits and the intriguingly named if mystifying murder holes.
'Doddo.'
'Yes Liz.'
'Do you plan to wear that hat all weekend?'
'Yes Liz. Do you want a miniature toy dog?'
'No thanks.'
With the castle as a backdrop and a couple of pints of the frankly, rather mortifyingly named Brains Bitter under our belts, we decided it was time to head for the Brecon Beacons. Home of the most hostile army training regime in all of Britain and hopefully a nice B&B serving family size meals and cold drinks at reasonable prices.
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