Dates, Sex and the Mention of Love Eggs
I had a moment of combined courage and inspiration. 'You're girls ', I started nervously, getting a nod from both the members of my now captive audience, 'well', elongated nine month pregnant pause, 'in your opinion, how long should you wait after meeting a girl in a bar, before you ring her up and ask her out?' I could see Mel mentally masticating the question, furrowing her brow in deep, deep thought.
I didn't know Mel too well, she seemed to keep some strange hours. Nurses are prone to do that, although I'm not sure if she'd actually found a job in London yet. Probably hanging at Bondage Bars. From the snippets I'd heard, she was a kinky, up front little thing who was not afraid to take the reigns, so to speak. It might be just me, but when a girl brings up the topic of love eggs and masturbatory habits minutes after an introduction, you take a little something away from it.
'Little bit of action on the go Doddo? That's a toughie. Normally I'd just jump the bloke in question so there'd be no need for those awkward little phone calls. It's amazing how pleasantries go out the window when you've shagged a bloke senseless', Mel began, leaning forward on the couch to gain maximum effect. Not exactly the sort of advice I required but it was a start and it must be said, I was enjoying her maximum effect.
'Three or four days Doddo.' Sharon added, 'you don't want to seem too eager and yet you can't be seen to be aloof'.
That was better, some hard figures. Information I could use, although personally I wish I had the front to adopt Mel's methods. Sharon was level headed, Mel, mad as a cut snake.
'Yeah, three or four days is good Doddo.' Mel followed up, 'Two if you really fancy them. Same day is psycho, stalker territory. Anything over a week and you're a womanising bastard. You blokes really can't win, you know that?'
Never had a truer word been uttered. I felt defeated before I began. Three days will do it. I made a mental note to ring Emma on Monday.
I heard the front door slam as the The Kid strode in asking if there'd been any messages. Time for a massive change of conversation tack. The last thing I needed was The Kid's take on the subject. This could be tough.
